topics from when i'm alone

so, you wanted to know what's going on in my life. i think i'm finally growing up. i say that i am who i am. and i'm really trying to discover myself. but i am who i am. i need space. i need time. i need patience. and i am so glad that at the end of the day, i still have a family who loves me. i still have music that lifts me up. i still have a guitar that i can play wonderful sound on. i may never have everything. but i have some important things. i know for a fact that i have a well established relationship with my parents. and i am now going to write out the play that wrote itself. i am reaching my full potential with all that i am. all that He created me for. i am just being held ever so closely. there's a team that's standing behind me, waiting for me to open up my mouth to tell them that i need them. that i want them here. that more than anything, i'm trying to get up again. is there anyway that i could be any better than the me that i am? i think not. "topics" is such a true song. but i waited until it was too late to tell my parents. things had already fallen apart. and i was a broken mess. now that i have their support and love constantly behind me, i don't know what i would be or where i would be if i didn't have that shoulder. if i didn't have that, then i would probably more or less dead. i would be beyond broken. so let me put it simply, i am not to be taken lightly. i am a force to never be messed with. and i may cry hard, as i am right now, but there's nothing that you can do about it. i'm just opening myself up and finally resting right on God's shoulders. right in the cradle of the hook of his arm. it's more than sweet patience he's had with me. he's been there and just waiting. and now more than ever, he's waiting for me to come back. my life is on the line. i'm sending out a siren. i'm a work in progress, but i need all the help i can get. is there anything more? no. is there anything less? no. i'm just looking for you to drop your arms and wrap yourself around me so tightly, swing me around, and say "ok, gillian. you are perfect, and don't let anyone tell you any different." because i am. i am perfect in the me that i am. i am the me that i need to be. want to be. ok, well, i think i've gotten that all out. peace kiddos.