i'm sorry if my best isn't good enough
wow. two guys that said it. i must not know how to be a friend. i must not know how to be a half decent person. well i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i expect a lot out of people. and i'm sorry that i need people in person rather than in a text. i'm sorry that i will never be what you need. and if i am the person you need now as i stand, then you are sadly mistaken, because i am not enough for you.
as for you...i know that i did you wrong a long time ago. and that this is just karma slapping me in the face. so i'm sorry about being a jerk four years ago. and i promise that i won't be that way again. just don't lead me on, please. not anymore. i refuse to be lead on in that way. it hurts. A LOT. and it sucks majorly. why'd you do that? stop flirting if you still wanted to be with her. i'm actually glad that you told me now so that i wasn't being murdered later. i should just give up, shouldn't i? i should just stay away from guys altogether.
as for you...just stay the fuck out of my life. i don't know why i got involved with you. i mean, seriously. you, of all people, take me for granted. i didn't want to believe the bullshit that people said about you. but i believe it now. cos you treated me like crap. you expect me to drive clear across town for stupid things like a slurpee when you aren't even home. hellooooooo...the seven/eleven is right up the block from you. you could WALK there, dumbass. and i'm moving too fast for you??? in about two weeks, the fact that you're sleeping with a 13 year old will be considered statutory rape, ya know. and also, just so we're very clear, if you don't sleep with her, then maybe she wouldn't think that you were her boyfriend. so maybe that's where i get the idea. and that's where she gets the idea.
and last but most certainly not least, you. i think what's really hard for me is that i refuse to like you anymore when i am clearly in love with you, but all i want to do is hurt you like you rejected me. and i know for a simple fact that there isn't going to be anything. because five years from now, i will be in montana or canada or washington, but no where here in delaware. and in those five years, i won't be here at all except for hollies. and i know without a shadow of a doubt that i'm gonna miss you really bad. and that there'll be this big empty ache in heart. i'm just trying to figure out why i like you. or in this case, love you. i have not the slightest clue whatsoever what i see anymore. and why i trust you so much. i tell you everything. but why? you're my best guy friend. well, were. i mean, before i decided that it was better to have meaningless conversation with you than to spill my soul when you clearly don't wanna do the same.
oh great. i just laid my soul on the line for nothing. for no one. and this is who i go to when no one clearly understands me or can make time for me. this is where i leave my heart. not even on paper. on a blog. and that really sucks. because i really wish that someone would make time to see me so that i could talk. or that i didn't have so much to say so that i wouldn't fill up a blog in this way. computers suck. and one day when i become famous, this'll come back to haunt me. people will be saying, "wow...such a depressed child. good insight, but so depressed." and that's how it rolls. this is not my best. but then again, i'm just not best for anything or anyone.
as for you...i know that i did you wrong a long time ago. and that this is just karma slapping me in the face. so i'm sorry about being a jerk four years ago. and i promise that i won't be that way again. just don't lead me on, please. not anymore. i refuse to be lead on in that way. it hurts. A LOT. and it sucks majorly. why'd you do that? stop flirting if you still wanted to be with her. i'm actually glad that you told me now so that i wasn't being murdered later. i should just give up, shouldn't i? i should just stay away from guys altogether.
as for you...just stay the fuck out of my life. i don't know why i got involved with you. i mean, seriously. you, of all people, take me for granted. i didn't want to believe the bullshit that people said about you. but i believe it now. cos you treated me like crap. you expect me to drive clear across town for stupid things like a slurpee when you aren't even home. hellooooooo...the seven/eleven is right up the block from you. you could WALK there, dumbass. and i'm moving too fast for you??? in about two weeks, the fact that you're sleeping with a 13 year old will be considered statutory rape, ya know. and also, just so we're very clear, if you don't sleep with her, then maybe she wouldn't think that you were her boyfriend. so maybe that's where i get the idea. and that's where she gets the idea.
and last but most certainly not least, you. i think what's really hard for me is that i refuse to like you anymore when i am clearly in love with you, but all i want to do is hurt you like you rejected me. and i know for a simple fact that there isn't going to be anything. because five years from now, i will be in montana or canada or washington, but no where here in delaware. and in those five years, i won't be here at all except for hollies. and i know without a shadow of a doubt that i'm gonna miss you really bad. and that there'll be this big empty ache in heart. i'm just trying to figure out why i like you. or in this case, love you. i have not the slightest clue whatsoever what i see anymore. and why i trust you so much. i tell you everything. but why? you're my best guy friend. well, were. i mean, before i decided that it was better to have meaningless conversation with you than to spill my soul when you clearly don't wanna do the same.
oh great. i just laid my soul on the line for nothing. for no one. and this is who i go to when no one clearly understands me or can make time for me. this is where i leave my heart. not even on paper. on a blog. and that really sucks. because i really wish that someone would make time to see me so that i could talk. or that i didn't have so much to say so that i wouldn't fill up a blog in this way. computers suck. and one day when i become famous, this'll come back to haunt me. people will be saying, "wow...such a depressed child. good insight, but so depressed." and that's how it rolls. this is not my best. but then again, i'm just not best for anything or anyone.
posted by Giggles at
6:34 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home