my heart

my heart stands alone. it's complex, like me. it has many compartments, many rooms. it is filled and it is empty all at once. my heart belongs to me. my heart belongs to you. my heart belongs to a guy that i once thought i knew. my heart is open. my heart is shut. it goes for a roller coaster ride. it likes to hide. it takes chances. my heart is fast in romances. it races against me and slams my chest cavity. my heart is love. my heart is pain. my heart needs to be held. my heart needs to be whispered to on the darkest of nights. most importantly, my heart needs to know that it's still loved.
if you'd ask to see my heart, to hear my heart, to know my heart, you'd be asking for a lot. you'd be asking to see the hurt, the black, the white, and all the gray. you'd be asking to see the valves, the pressure, the tubes, and the pumping. you'd be asking for a lot. but worst of all, you'd be asking for a little piece of it so i could trust you. and that is something that i just cannot give. will not give. refuse to give. i've been stomped on, beaten, and superglued together. my heart is high and my heart is low. my heart is heavy and my heart is light. my heart is whole and strong. my heart is broken and fragile. that is what it is.
there are many ways that i could choose to explain the little piece of me that is made to be such a big deal, but i won't. i won't explain myself, cos i don't need to. all you need to know is my heart is my heart. all the private places and the public needs. the desires and the unfulfilled dreams. they are all me. they are tucked away inside that tiny thing. and they will stay there forever and ever. amen.