sink AND swim

i do both. i got those facets. but the prism inside is what is fighting to surface. this stupid boy. these stupid so called "men" of nothing but pride and wallowing in sin. it reminds me all of something. possibly my life line? the one that i've had since i was five? let's put it this way; i'll throw up my hand. and you can decide whose the better man. i mean, seriously, when you kiss me, do you mean it, like for real? or would you rather make a deal with the devil and his lies of all the insecurities that i try to hide and that from those insecurities, i'd give you something in return. i'd much rather burn that give you my body. than give you the one thing that you crave. i am stronger than this. i am stronger than you. i am stronger than the me that wants you. it's pulling on me, but when i'm alone, there's nothing that i want more than to be alone. i want to know that i am one, a single person, who matters. not just your toy that flatters you with words. cos when i'm with you, yeah, i feel ahmasing. but when i'm alone, i feel like grace and i'm hitting rock bottom, but this is where i need to be. i just need to leave. wrap me up and undo me. fill me up and break me. let go...wait don't. these five fingers here desperately want yours around them.